Part One: Babies!
If there's one thing that can be said about The Sims Medieval, is that it's putting old-time baby farmers like myself out of business. In our last post, we introduced Lady Adelveig, a Morose, Earthy, Whale-Orphaned Nordic princess, and the important players in the unfolding of her family line. But how can she have a proud family line with not even a suitor lined up to father an heir? We'll be getting a bit updated with the other Heroes, as well.
Determined to produce one, Adelveig begins planning her mating strategy with Sir Ser Robin. (I didn't realize the game was adding titles to the front of names, so he's twice the knight! And yes, this literally is what she was doing. I shit you not. The ability to make choices and roleplay your character in this game is fantastic.) She will declare her intent, and begin courtship at once.
Our Lady turns to her dear friend Cas to set her up with a potential suitor, someone of fine breeding and tolerable stench. She finds this lovely young man, and sets up a blind date...
...only to return and find Her Highness missing, and the suitor passed out drunk!
With the Queen nowhere in sight, and fearing the worst if the news gets out, Cas begins interrogating those closest to the Queen. Suspecting a lie from the maidservant, she spikes her drink with truth serum and a slow-acting laxative, just for laughs.
As it turns out, the potential suitor tried to make a move, and Adelveig left. As payment for setting her up with such a creep, she demands Cas put the man to the sword.
Cas gladly accepts.
Frustrated, Adelveig begins seeking out suitors on her own.
Starting with a guy who's name is Shady Donald. This will not end well I th--
--I don't even--
--THIS IS NOT HOW YOU COURT MEN, ADELVEIG.
I could make a really tasteless buttsecks joke right here.
Because, I mean. Come on.
Sexing did eventually happen, though I'm not sure whether that's a good thing. But Cas shouldn't be performing roundhouse kicks on the Queen's uterus, maybe? Why is she even--
Hey, look! Her Highness is doing an Ingrid Moss impression! 8D (over at the Moss Legacy)
Part Two: In Other News
Cas and Whats Her Face--it turns out her name is Frea are growing closer as friends. The young wizardess is still solitary, insecure, and searching for her lost parents.
Cas convinces Frea to let her play matchmaker and introduce her to her half-brother, or cousin, or something. Frea agrees, possibly--gruel eating does tend to get in the way of enunciating properly.
Good job, Cas!
Oh, by the way. Frea made this...thing.
His name is Herbert. So who is the blind date, anyway?
Uhm, Frea. Giacomo here is what we call in the modern age a "play-yah". As in, "play-yah already got three bastard kids".
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM ARGH
See, Frea? SEE? This is Marianne. You know, the chick he's married to.
A fact Giacomo easily denies, given the royal advisor got in the shot while the wedding was being, er, painted.
I'm not sure if this pic is related or not. Frea's solitary and insecure enough to not really know that she's being played, or do anything about it if she knew. Giacomo occasionally visits her with flowers and attempts to ply her legs apart, but I think the chastity belt is holding strong. Er, in other news...
This is Aldur, a local merchant. I've got plans for the merchant slot, so I don't really plan on keeping him.
But I don't know if I can follow through on that.
In other news, the Royal Advisor attempts to block a highly inappropriate young lady.
Part Two: More Babies!
The princess is named Brinh, and sprouts up quicker than you can bat an eye.
She grows to enjoy playing in the dirty town square, instead of the palace--and Adelveig can't really blame her. Girl got Viking blood! Picture is unrelated.
She's adorable, but kids are hard to get pictures of, and mama's got more babies to make. She needs a male heir, after all! So let's get crackin', Adelveig. Now let's go see what mama's up to--
Oh, she's sentencing her guards to death. Good girl! :D
So who do you have in mind as a suitor? Maybe someone who's name doesn't imply surprise buttsecks?
Maybe even someone you marry. You know, like a legimate heir or a boy something. :D Wait, what are you doing?
COME BACK HERE. DO NOT WALK AWAY WHILE I AM TALKING TO YOU. I AM GOD. I AM THE WATCHER. I--
... you are grounded while I find you a baby daddy. GO TO YOUR THRONE.
Okay. Let's go find a baby daddy. Brinhy dear, show me the wa--
--and a bunch of peasants waltz into the castle, eat the food, put on the Queen's clothing, and start playing with her shit. WHAT.
OUT OUT GET OUT OF MY CASTLE
That is it. Baby time. NOW.
This man. He is your new baby daddy. Commence speed dating with Buildmaster Monty.
"Who? Me? :D"
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
Okay, you two are very cute. Now go and make babies already.
Alright we get it. That can come later though. Just get to bed.
No! NO! Who is this loser! They've got babies to make! >:(
Nobody listens to me anymore. :(
Finally :D *hits speed 3*
"BABY BABY BABY BABY" Oh my god it's coming :D I can't wait to see--
... I shit you not, my game must have glitched or something. And I know Adelveig got pregnant from Monty and Monty alone. Funniest. Glitch. Ever. The baby's name is Donovan, by the way.
Whelp, I hope that was enjoyable. There was a lot of stuff from other Heroes that I tried to squeeze in, and I still have a lot left. The next post will introduce a new Hero or two, as well as see the kids grown to fake teenhood. I'll also be conducting an heir poll--I love them grown up and I can't bring myself to decide!